Guilty pleasure post – My once a season thoughts on “The Bachelor”!

In Runaway Bride, as Richard Gere’s character is interviewing the four men that Julia Roberts’ character has left at the altar, he ends each conversation with the same question. “How does she like her eggs?” Each man answers the question the same way, “She likes __________, just like me!”

Later, after [spoiler alert] Julia Roberts’ character has left Richard Gene at the altar of wedding number five and she’s trying to find herself, there’s a scene where she makes every kind of eggs she can think of in an effort to discover this most simple truth about herself. Ultimately, she decides she like eggs benedict…(just like me!) 😆

Josh and I don’t watch many episodes of The Bachelor together, but in the one episode he did join me for this year, I wondered aloud how it was possible that Peter, this season’s bachelor, is somehow simultaneously every man I dated in my twenties wrapped up in one person.

He’s the guy who wants you to open up and talk about your feelings.

He’s the guy that would rather not talk about feelings and instead make out.

He’s the guy that is respectful about sex and boundaries.

He’s the guy that wants to be respectful, but would really just like to be having sex, even if it’s not with you, and thus destroys the relationship.

He’s the guy who is certain he wants to break up with you…until he isn’t.

He’s the guy that is certain he wants to be with you…until he isn’t.

He’s the guy that’s got a great, stable job.

He’s the guy that still lives with his parents.

He’s the guy that literally loves any woman who’s crying over him regardless of whether they are compatible in any other way.

He’s the man who likes a little bit of everything, meaning he likes a little bit of everything about every woman he’s ever met.

Peter is the first bachelor in as many seasons as I’ve watched who says he’s in love with three women (then two…but he started by telling three he was in love…) and I actually believe he is in love with three women. And that’s completely ludicrous given how different those three women are.

He can’t simultaneously believe that he can be super “sex positive” and want to “jive” with all his women in the fantasy suite AND believe that he will be able to hold up his end of the bargain in a super traditional, evangelical relationship.

He can’t simultaneously believe that communication is the most important thing in a relationship AND continue to perpetuate a relationship in which the woman repeatedly admits that they have zero communication skills.

He can’t simultaneously believe that if he trusts the process, everything will work out AND have come to terms with the fact that, at the beginning of his own season, he told the bachelorette who dumped him that he still had feelings for her, and would have given them a second chance instead of coming on his own season.

If he believes he’s really in love with three different women…as different as those women are…then I’m forced to believe that Peter doesn’t actually know how he likes his eggs…er…women.

Peter is Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride. And if the previews for his finale tonight are any indication, he might not be bolting from a wedding…but I think there are a few rose ceremonies, relationships, and foreign countries still in question!

Or maybe he knows how he likes his women, but doesn’t know how he loves them?

In an excellent exchange from another 1999 box office hit, 10 Things I Hate About You, Bianca and Chastity note:

Bianca:
There’s a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.

Chastity:
But I love my Skechers.

Bianca:
That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.

Peter loves Madison, unless he’s with Hannah Ann…then he just likes Madison…because he certainly doesn’t love her enough not to sleep with other women. But then, when having to come face to face with Madison…he only likes Hannah Ann…because he doesn’t love her enough to avoid begging Madison to stay in front of her.

Since his two remaining women were three years old when both Runaway Bride and 10 Things I Hate About You were released, we can, perhaps, forgive them for not recognizing these classic movie tropes that Peter displays. But nonetheless, they should run from it. Because once the cameras stop rolling, Peter is bound to remember that he’s a certain type of man.

Unless, of course, he doesn’t actually know what kind of man he is, which at this point seems possible.

And Having 30 different women show up and try to date you at the same time, is kind of like Julia Roberts sitting down in front of 30 plates of eggs and picking out a favorite. You might come away feeling like I LOVE eggs benedict, but scrambled and omelets are pretty good too. But if they’re all on the menu…then you’re picking the eggs benedict.

Who’s the eggs benedict Peter!?

Ultimately, tonight’s finale could come down to a “whoever’s left” situation, with one woman leaving and Peter’s hand being forced to decide if he chases after her or if he stays with the remaining lady. These aren’t spoilers, just speculation. If that’s the case, Peter should know in the moment the woman leaves what he wants to do. It’s like calling the coin flip in the air, the moment it falls you’ll know how you want it to land.

But really, if that’s what it comes down to, than both women should leave, and Peter should walk away too. Because you shouldn’t want a love that comes down to a coin toss, and you shouldn’t want a love that only works when one partner is a certain kind of way.

You should want the “eggs benedict!”

Or better yet…you should want the one who knows themselves enough to say, “I don’t really like eggs that much, could we go for pancakes instead!”

Cheers!

Published by Kate

A former Wisconsinite, Kate now resides in southeast Minnesota with her husband where she teaches high school English and theater. She recently completed her master's degree in learning design and technology, and continues to study and advocate for arts integration in the classroom. A recipient of the RISE America grant for high school theater, Kate is working to innovate and expand theater opportunities for the students at PIHS. An avid distance runner, concert pianist, and want-to-be wine aficionado, Kate's blog "ink." is a passion project, embodying all the best parts of life: friends, food, wine, thoughtful conversation, style, and sass!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: